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Friday, 19 January, 2018
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Homo Sapien

Date: 01 April, 2008

By: Chief

Images Latin for "wise man" or "knowing man" . . . oh hah!

Let me put it to you this way — if we humans are on the absolute top of the evolutionary ladder, as most of us are taught that we are, then God must have really screwed up. Maybe she indulged in one too many pinners of Panama Red? After all, according to the bible, God herself created pot.

Here, thanks to News of the Weird and the AP, are a very, very few examples of what I am talking about:

"An alleged thief wasn't fazed when workers at a Chicago muffler shop told him a safe he wanted to rob wasn't open. He just asked them to give him a call when their boss returned with the combination. The 18-year-old got a call. But so did Chicago police.

"When Ruben Carate returned to Velasquez & Sons Mufflers For Less on Monday, plainclothes Chicago police officers shot and wounded him in the leg. Carate was charged Tuesday with attempted armed robbery and aggravated assault of a police officer, the Cook County state's attorney's office said."

Not so old Ruben Carate is obviously too stupid for his own good. Hence he has, without doubt, earned being locked up in a state run Cross Bars Hotel for the rest of his natural life — for his own protection.

Here are a few more for your enjoyment or sadness:

"[S]treet performer John Domingue said the Huntington Beach, Calif., police have finally stopped hassling him for soliciting tips at the city's famous Pier Plaza when he demonstrates his skill at hammering nails into his nose without serious injury (Some bleeding results, which is why police said they stopped him in the first place. I would have let him bleed to death).

"Two counselors in the Denver school system proposed in December that the school board give high school girls who get pregnant at least four weeks of maternity leave, without academic penalty, so they can bond with their newborns. The counselors said the policy would encourage teen mothers to stay in school.

"[A] 42-year-old man, hit by a train on tracks near Burlington, Ill., while listening to his iPod.

"[A] 31-year-old man, hit by a train in Berkeley, Calif., while talking on his cell phone.

"[A]nother man, hit by a train in San Leandro, Calif., also while on his cell phone.

"Two Park Vista High School girls who admitted that they swiped money off the table of a Girl Scout selling cookies at a supermarket in Boynton Beach, Fla., in January told WPBF-TV later that they had no remorse. Said one (on camera): 'We went through all that effort to get (the money). We got all these charges (against us), and we had to give the money back. I'm kind of pissed'. Added the other, 'I'm not sorry. I'm just pissed that I got caught'. The victim's mother said that the girls returned to the supermarket the next day and taunted the little girl."

But the creme de la creme comes from Deepwater, Missouri. Talk about the "show me" state. They may very well wish to change the state motto after you read this barn burner. This one also falls under the category of "hey y'all ... watch this:"

"Officials are trying to decide whether to file charges against a Missouri man who fatally shot his wife while trying to install a satellite TV system in their home.

"Patsy Long, 34, of Deepwater, died after being shot in the chest with a .22-caliber handgun on Saturday. Her husband, Ronald Long, fired the shot from the inside of their home after several unsuccessful efforts to punch a hole through the exterior wall using other means."

I just wonder if Ronald Long rode the 'little bus' to school every day? If nothing else Ronald Long needs to be required to wear a bright red T-shirt with the following printed in large white print on both front and back:

I am an Imbecile.

Now I defy you to find any kind of logical, deliberative thought process in any of the above examples. Take your time — I'll wait, it shouldn't take long anyway. Simply put there isn't any to be found. Though in all fairness and extraordinary good luck for the rest of the human species the three stooges (sorry for the put down of the great comedy team) with the cell phones and Ipod cannot breed anymore, the train took them out of the gene pool permanently.

It seems to me from what I have either observed or read about the entire concept of "wise man" or "knowing man" is no longer true. Indeed it appears that the human species is de-evolving. Instead of evolution — the improving or improvement of the species, we are, in fact, going backwards.

And I say this not because of various isolated acts of utter stupidity, of which there are many. No, not at all. I say this because, over all, the human species actually appears to be dumber now than at anytime in history.

Think I'm wrong? Well, take a look at this (quoting the National Institute of Mental Health):

"New imaging studies are revealing--for the first time--patterns of brain development that extend into the teenage years. Although scientists don't know yet what accounts for the observed changes, they may parallel a pruning process that occurs early in life that appears to follow the principle of 'use-it-or-lose-it': neural connections, or synapses, that get exercised are retained, while those that don't are lost.

"Another series of MRI studies is shedding light on how teens may process emotions differently than adults. Using functional MRI (fMRI), a team led by Dr. Deborah Yurgelun-Todd at Harvard's McLean Hospital scanned subjects' brain activity while they identified emotions on pictures of faces displayed on a computer screen.[] Young teens, who characteristically perform poorly on the task, activated the amygdala, a brain center that mediates fear and other 'gut' reactions, more than the frontal lobe. As teens grow older, their brain activity during this task tends to shift to the frontal lobe, leading to more reasoned perceptions and improved performance. Similarly, the researchers saw a shift in activation from the temporal lobe to the frontal lobe during a language skills task, as teens got older. These functional changes paralleled structural changes in temporal lobe white matter."

And this humdinger from the American Bar Association (quoting in pertinent part):

"Researchers have carefully scrutinized the pace and severity of these changes and have learned that they continue into a person's early 20s. Dr. Elizabeth Sowell, a member of the UCLA brain research team, has led studies of brain development from adolescence to adulthood. She and her colleagues found that the frontal lobe undergoes far more change during adolescence than at any other stage of life. It is also the last part of the brain to develop, which means that even as they become fully capable in other areas, adolescents cannot reason as well as adults: '[m]aturation, particularly in the frontal lobes, has been shown to correlate with measures of cognitive functioning' " (emphasis added).

Gee whiz boys and girls what that is saying, in essence, is:

Wow. That says a lot. Especially the "teenagers are no longer capable of thinking through the consequences of their actions" part. If these studies are true, which is a big 'if', let me ask you a question — how has the human race survived these many thousands of years?

I, for one, do not have difficulty believing these purported 'new' scientific studies. 2000 years ago it was normal for boys and girls to wed and have children at the ripe old age of 14 - 15. Why so young? Because life back then was not a bowl of corn flakes (why there weren't any microwaves, TV, cell phones, computers or Ipods, let alone hair dryers and makeup). Hence the average life expectancy was approximately 35 - 40 years. Hells bells Elwood, we live at least twice that long today (all thanks to microwaves, Jiffy-pop, beer and the universal remote).

Seriously though, 2000 years ago or more if a person's brain was not fully developed and functional when that person was young the obvious chances of the human race surviving are somewhere between Slim and none, and Slim just left town.

Look at just a few of the engineering accomplishments of the past for heaven's sake:

Yeah, boy howdy, none of those engineering marvels, which are still standing today, could have been built if a person's brain were not fully developed and functioning at a very young age. Regrettably, I must admit that I doubt those same structures could be built today. Even though we live at least twice as long as our long dead ancestors we do not have the craftsmen, the knowledge or the patience.

To put this all into perspective: if these new studies are true, just look around you, then we the human species are in really deep trouble. It certainly appears that over all we are, in fact, less capable than our forefathers. We are then, in fact, de-evolving.

Final point, the three idiots who taunted a fully grown tiger at the San Francisco Zoo a few short months ago (quoting AP).

"Paul Dhaliwal, 19, told the father of Carlos Sousa Jr., 17, who was killed, that the three yelled and waved at the tiger but insisted they never threw anything into its pen to provoke the cat, according to a search warrant affidavit obtained Thursday by the San Francisco Chronicle.

[ ... ]

"Toxicology results for Dhaliwal showed that his blood alcohol level was 0.16 — twice the legal limit for driving, according to the affidavit. His 24-year-old brother Kulbir Dhaliwal and Sousa also had alcohol in their blood but within the legal limit, Matthews wrote.

"All three also had marijuana in their systems, Matthews said. Kulbir Dhaliwal told police that the three had smoked pot and each had 'a couple shots of vodka' before leaving San Jose for the zoo on Christmas Day the affidavit said."

Final score: Tiger - 1, morons - 0.

Unfortunately, the tiger was later shot and killed by security personnel. Me? If I was a security officer I would have thrown the other two fools to the tiger and made it a clean sweep. I would not have killed the tiger for doing what it is supposed to do — kill.

I believe it is time to rename our species — Homo Stupids.

After all the vast majority of our race are definitely acting the part.

[Ed. note: This story has been updated.]

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