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Thursday, 18 October, 2018
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A Tit Caught in the Political Ringer

Date: 01 February, 2004

By: Chief

Image just don't believe it. No, I just can't believe it. Janet Jackson finally hit the big time. Well, at least her tit did. Right on prime time television. Her boob flopping around before an estimated 89 million super bowl viewers to see. She may actually find a career as a topless dancer in a geriatric ward.

Whoopie. I've seen better breasts on grocery store fryers.

But oh my God, hell hath no fury like an FCC chairman scorned. Yes, we are going to get to the bottom of this sagging, indecent half time show cried Federal Communications Commission Chairman Michael Powell. How dare something like this transpire when, in his mind anyway, everybody was watching a "celebration." The FCC investigation will be "swift and thorough." How two football teams trying to pound the hell out of one another is a celebration is beyond me, but there you have it.

Give me a break, Powell, will you? I have far better things I want done with my tax money than having a bunch of idiotic bureaucrats chasing Jackson's tit down a hallway screaming in righteous indignation. In fact, the first thing I want with my tax money is it to be returned to me, with interest. I am not at all pleased to be paying your salary while you are acting like the south end of a north bound horse.

How many millions of our tax dollars are going to be wasted? I have every faith and confidence that quite a few millions will be wasted in this, the latest in a string of FCC boob-doggles.

Now members of Congress are talking about holding hearing pertaining to the now infamous Jackson boob tube incident. Good grief, haven't any of these purported upstanding members of Congress ever seen a tit before? More money waiting to be flushed down the proverbial porcelain convenience, also known as the toilet. These people have no clue.

Besides, what is wrong — don't look mind you, with a naked breast. Indeed, what is just so wrong with the human body? When you think about it the human body is a marvel of engineering. It actually works and tends to last longer, all things considered, than damn near anything made by the hands of men ... or women for that matter.

Yet it is a crime, in most states, to walk down a public street partially naked let alone completely naked. Indecent exposure and all that rubbish. I will be the first to admit that some people look a whole lot better dressed. Me for one. On the other hand, if everybody walked around wearing nothing but a smile after a while nobody would give a good God damn what anybody else looked like.

It all rolls around that infamous, without doubt heathen, three letter word: s-e-x. Close your eyes and cover your innocent ears. I said ... er ... wrote it. Sex. I did it again. Copulate the 's' word with religion and boy howdy, we are all in deep shit.

Oh, I almost forgot, it is an election year. And the religious zealots have already been throwing money around to their very favorite, bought and paid for, candidate. Politicians have to keep the money flowing into their campaign coffers therefore politicians must keep religious fanatics happy. After all, their money spends just as well as anybody else's.

The only other thing which makes any sense to me at all, and in all honesty none of this political furor makes a lick of sense, is that once again our federal government is attempting to tell us what is best for us. The all knowing, all seeing government. Now if I am correct about that we all have a very good reason to be worried. Government has no, as in zero, place to tell us what is good for us or even what is bad for us. We can figure that out on our own thank you very much. However, when was the last time government did not interfere? How about over a century ago. That, believe it or not, is not too far off the mark. And the interference has gotten worse ever since.

If mommy or daddy were offended because little Johnny or Susie saw Janet Jackson's boob on the tube. Hey, sorry about that. It's done and over with. And nothing can change that. So get over it. At the same time if that is offensive to mommy or daddy, just how in the world are they going to explain s-e-x to their kids? Sorry, the story of the stork really doesn't work. However, that isn't my business, it is theirs.

Can I condone what happened? No. Not at all. Be it accidental or deliberate it should not have happened to begin with. The reason is quite simple enough. Each person involved was an adult. That, in theory at least, means that said adults should have had enough brain cells left, possibly even an ounce of two of common sense — but that is really pushing the envelope, to realize that there would be kids watching the television and because of that quite a few mommies and daddies would become real pissed, real quick. Additionally, there more than likely would be people watching that do not take kindly to nudity, of any sort, at any time. Therefore, the whole part of grabbing Jackson's jacket should never have taken place. This stuff is rehearsed numerous times. All that needed to be done was somebody within the production staff cutting that little part out and inserting something else. Problem solved.

Now if Jackson wants to strut her stuff in the buff on television, fine. Just let people know ahead of time so little Johnny and Susie, the holier-than-thou for lunch bunch and mommy and daddy won't be offended. There are channels on the tube for that stuff. Use 'em. That is what they are for.

As we all know, that is not what happened. And now because of stupidity or just being completely brain dead the politicos are going utterly berserk. More regulation. Possibly more laws, as if we don't have enough of both already. Sheesh.

At least Howard Dean, one of many democratic presidential hopefuls vying for the job this year, got it right. It's "silly." This whole investigation crap is just silly. More importantly it is a complete waste of our tax money.

If investigating a boob-on-the-tube is the very best our illustrious FCC has to do then it is far past time to put them all out to pasture. In other words, shut down the FCC and whatever their annual budget is, or hopefully was, send it back to us, the taxpayers. We do not need more idiocy in government. We have way too much of it already.

No one knows better than I that shutting down the FCC is not in the cue cards. Ain't going to happen — Capt'n. But it sure is a tempting thought. And if by some remote chance it did happen, it would give the other umpteen million bureaucrats pause to think. 'If it could happen to them, it could happen to me.' Ah, aren't dreams wonderful?

While I agree that Janet Jackson's stupid stunt was just that and was uncalled for, Michael Powell's reaction to it was not just equally as stupid, indeed, it was dangerous. Bureaucrats who don't like something have the power to censor and punish. Not good.

Mr. Michael Powell, let me give you a piece of advise. Turn the investigation off. You have been playing the part of a fool — at taxpayers expense — far too long. Don't add insult to injury. Get a life and get over it.

Given the choice between a tit on the tube or government telling me what I can see, speak or do, I'll take the tit any day.

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