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Tuesday, 25 September, 2018
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The Redmond Rapists

Date: 15 February, 2002

By: Chief

Imagehis is not just a rape in the ordinary meaning of the word. It is, however, a gang rape of mind boggling proportions. Further these rapists commit this horrid crime every single day. And nobody, not even our incompetent, corrupt government seems willing to do anything about it. In fact the United States Department of Justice, pronounced 'Just-us', has wilfully ignored these repeated attacks.

I'm writing about the Microsoft (M$) "End-User License Agreement" (EULA) that accompanies every product M$ sells.

Have you ever read the entire agreement? If you are a Windows user, pronounced 'Win-blows', the chances are you have not. Do yourself a favor and read the entire document. It is only about 11 pages long and in pure legalese. Good luck.

This document is the epitome of rape. Calculated, premeditated, willful rape. Rape of the consumer. Rape of the citizen. Why? Because M$ figures the majority of We the People are either illiterate or too lazy to read, or both. Oh, did I forget to mention that M$ places the EULA in the middle of the Win-blows installation process? Not at the very beginning, oh no, in the middle. Additionally, there is no written copy of the EULA in the "Getting Started" book which purportedly comes with every PC that has Win-blows installed.

By now you should be just a trifle upset. That is understandable if you are a Win-blows user. Well guess what? I'm going to do my very best to get you fighting mad. Foaming at the mouth mad would be even better. We shall see.

First off, remember that hard earned money you spent buying Win-blows? I've got some bad news for you. You do not own that software. I kid you not. Contained in the EULA is the following:

"The SOFTWARE PRODUCT is licensed, not sold."

Told you I wasn't lying. By the way, I never lie — the truth is far too much fun. How do you like them apples? You spent your money and received what? Nothing. You did not buy anything. The product still belongs to M$. A pig in a poke.

Now, would you buy a car and not be able to own it? Of course not. So why are you willing to buy nothing from M$ and feel happy about it. Though come to think about it, nothing is exactly what any M$ product is worth. However, you the consumer are out some hard earned cash with nothing to show for it.

Here is another snippet from the Redmond Rapists:

"If you do not agree to the terms of this EULA, Manufacturer and Microsoft Licensing, Inc. ("MS") are unwilling to license the SOFTWARE PRODUCT to you. In such event, you may not use or copy the SOFTWARE PRODUCT, and you should promptly contact Manufacturer for instructions on return of the unused product(s) for a refund."

Pretty cool huh? M$ has you coming and going. To read the EULA, one must open the shrink wrap and perform the installation of Win-blows. The instant you remove the shrink wrap, let alone perform the installation process, the product is no longer "unused" and so cannot be returned. Gates is laughing all the way to the bank on that one.

Here is another juicy tidbit:

"Termination. Without prejudice to any other rights, Manufacturer or MS may terminate this EULA if you fail to comply with the terms and conditions of this EULA. In such event, you must destroy all copies of the SOFTWARE PRODUCT and all of its component parts."

And where does it state you will receive your money back? Nowhere. Not nowhere, not nohow. M$ can legally force you, at their whim, to destroy what you thought you paid for. Did you just hear that? M$ board of directors snickering ... suckers.

If that isn't bad enough and it isn't, the infamous or should I say nonexistent M$ product support rears its ugly head:

"Product support for the SOFTWARE PRODUCT is not provided by MS, Microsoft Corporation, or their affiliates or subsidiaries. For product support, please refer to Manufacturer's support number provided in the documentation for the HARDWARE. Should you have any questions concerning this EULA, or if you desire to contact Manufacturer for any other reason, please refer to the address provided in the documentation for the HARDWARE."

And you wonder why I call it Win-blows? Legally, all product support for such a crappy operating system is deferred to the hardware manufacturer. Produce garbage and not be held responsible for it. It's the best of all worlds — for M$ that is.

And now, for the creme de la creme, the piece de resistance, liability under the EULA:

"To the maximum extent permitted by applicable law, in no event shall Manufacturer or its suppliers be liable for any damages whatsoever (including without limitation, special, incidental, consequential, or indirect damages for personal injury, loss of business profits, business interruption, loss of business information, or any other pecuniary loss) arising out of the use of or inability to use this product, even if Manufacturer has been advised of the possibility of such damages. In any case, Manufacturer's and its suppliers' entire liability under any provision of this agreement shall be limited to the amount actually paid by you for the SOFTWARE and/or Microsoft hardware."

Worms, viruses, trojans, blue screens of death (BSOD), flashed bios', hard drives overwritten, you name it and M$ owes you the cost of Win-blows. No more. Not one red cent. Their sloppy software caused the problem, caused your business lost productivity, lost profits and M$ does not give one damn. In fact M$ knows how bad their products are ... "even if Manufacturer has been advised of the possibility of such damages." That is why it is in the EULA, M$ knows their products are garbage and has to legally cover their assets.

Do you understand why I call them the Redmond Rapists?

We the People can fight and beat the Redmond Rapists. Don't use their products. We do not have to. There are plenty of other products which are far, far better. I wrote this using Abi Word (www.abisource.com). It is a fine word processor, completely free and available for a number of different operating systems. For office programs, There is Open Office, Libre Office, Star Office, KDE Office and Gnome Office. And that is just the tip of the iceberg. Bottom line here is you do not have to be held hostage by M$. Web browsers? How about Mozilla (www.mozilla.org), Chromium (www.chromium.org) or Opera (www.opera.com). Those three are the finest browsers, in my opinion, there are. Period. All are available for a number of different operating systems as well.

We can also tie up their email system, flood them with complaints. The same holds true with their fax and voice telephone numbers. Use your imagination. Do the same with your representatives in political office. Though don't expect much from them and you won't be disappointed.

One could also send M$ a claim for damages. Ever had a BSOD? Charge M$ 5k each time it happens. You won't get a dime, but it will cost them time. And the more complaints are mailed to Redmond, the more time and thus money it costs M$.

I think it is time to castrate Bill Gates and company.

[Ed note: This story has been updated.]

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