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  Nostalgia ain't what it used to be

Monday, 21 October, 2019
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Still Kicking

Date: 01 October, 2019

By: Chief

ImageAll the while exhaling a huge sigh of relief. So too answer your question ... no! I am not ready to die yet. Ya happy? You know something else? I really don't care if you are happy or not.

Not only that, but starting yesterday, I have been able to walk. Yeah, how about that huh? Put that in your pipe and smoke it. Hah! That's right — walk, without the aide of a:

Now I cannot say I am able to just do whatever, whenever I want. And I am not quite ready to take a "Walk on the wild side" either (a tip of the hat must be extended to the late, great, Mr. Lou Reed). Not yet anyway. Five or ten minutes of continuous motion and I'm done for a bit. The very big deal here is I am starting to get my stamina back a little bit at a time. That means, I am starting to regain my strength. Yahoo! Believe thee me folks, I am grateful for every little bit I can do. And, with any luck, I'll continue to improve. Yeah and dig this, someday I shall be taking another walk on the wild side. Hope ye shall join me.

The end ain't near

Hopefully. At the same time I am not naive enough to think that I'll whip cancers ugly butt. Well, probably not. I can tell ya'll this — I'm going to continue to fight this God awful disease with everything at my disposal. Including the garbage disposal. I am not a whiner and, by God I am not a quitter either. In other words — fuck cancer. There I said it, Yep and I feel pretty good about myself. Alrighty then.

Without doubt I don't look quite the same as before I entered Presbyterian Hospital. Indeed I now have a couple of 'extra' pipes sticking out of me. You already know about the peg tube inserted into my stomach and the tracheotomy, complete with tube, inserted into my neck and throat. I suppose the good news is ... at least I do not have an additional hole in my head or bolts (thumbscrews maybe) sticking out of each side of my neck. If I did I probably would feel exactly like Frankenstein. Gee what a thrill that would be (gag).

It all just feels so weird

It does feel weird. To be able to walk without the aid or at the very least assistance of a:

is not just weird — oh no — it is outright wonderful. It really is. Now for all of you who have never had the thrill or experience of using any of those wonderful devices let me just say this — it sure beats the hell out of being stuck in bed and peeing into a damned jug. And I won't even discuss the other end of the system. Yes indeed, even semi-independence is an absolute wonder to behold. Not to mention taking advantage of. And believe this if nothing else — I am taking advantage of it.

However, there is nothing, got that? Nothing like absolute or true freedom. Be it freedom of:

It doesn't matter. The key is freedom. And it always has been.

Therefore take advantage of it everyday, every hour, every minute. For as you well know, freedom, exactly like life itself, does not come with a price tag. Only you can determine how much it is worth and if you are willing to pay that price. Yes, I know, freedom is not free. It never has been and never will be either. But it must be worth the price you pay. Once you have paid that price ... you shall know.

Oh yes, there are two more keys I had better mention because you shall need all three. The second key is strength and the last is determination. You need them all as each are of equal importance. Hence, without them all — ye shall fail. So buck up that spine and use them. Don't dilly dally around. Get in and get down while you can. Because sooner or later Saint Peter will be asking you some very pointed questions and you had better have the correct answers. If you don't ... it shall be a:

And I seriously doubt you'll enjoy the accommodations once you do arrive.

Epilogue

In this case the price of freedom is being willing to take that walk on the wild side — to take that risk. Is it worth it? That is entirely up too you. Me? You had better believe it. Besides, what is life without risk? Boring. No. It is far worse than that. It is similar to being a member of the living dead. And that just cannot be any fun. So go ahead and take that "Walk on the wild side."

Just be sure to sure to watch where you step.

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