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  Nostalgia ain't what it used to be

Saturday, 20 January, 2018
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A Huge Lesson Too be Learned

Date: 25 July, 2017

By: Chief

Imageor most of my life I have believed in God — well kinda. However, I didn't pay real close attention to what was going on around me. Then sometime around the early 1990's things for me really started to change. Actually all I did, for reasons that still escape me, is I started paying attention to the stuff going on all around me. I suspect it was my brother in the wind, the Great and all Powerful, Mr. Don Blanscet. He is, by the way, sharp as a tack and fears nothing. It was he who jerked me up by my stackin' swivel (neck) one day and deposited me back on the path of:

In other words he re-introduced me to God. For that and for many other things I shall forever remain grateful and in his debt.

And the 'paying attention to stuff going on around me'? What does that have to do with God? Everything. If we would all just slow down and pay attention we shall see his work in action. There is no such-a-thing as coincidence. There is an immutable reason for everything that happens. Coincidence is merely a very poor excuse for not paying attention. Science does that a lot (except for physics and possibly chemistry).

Yes, there is a point

Indeed, there is a very large point for what Don did too me in the early 1990's. You see what he did came around full circle in 2017. Too be sure it came round the very first few seconds of 22 June, 2017. My wonderful, wonderful wife (Sweetie Pie) passed away 21 January, 2017 and this was exactly six months, one day (and a few seconds) after her passing from this Earth.

Let me tell you — I was devastated. Absolutely devastated. I do believe for the first week or so I was in a state of shock. Too this very day I have no memory, none whatsoever, of what actually did take place that first week or so after Sweetie Pie's death.

Then came the grieving. It was unimaginable. Nothing but raw and I do mean raw emotions running absolutely rampant. And no way whatsoever too control them. They controlled me. Furthermore, each day was just more of the same. More misery. More tears. More raw emotions flowing helter skelter. The only thing I kept wondering about was just when in the hell would this 'Hell on Earth' end. Day after day. Week after week. Month after miserable month. It did not end.

Finally along comes June. This bloody year is just about half over. Thank God for that. Regrettably, for me, I still had to somehow muddle through it. And it started off badly and went down hill from there. Oh yay. The 19th, 20th and naturally the 21st of June were not just bad — each day was somewhere between awful and completely terrible. Part way through those three days I truly wondered if I was going to survive them. Believe me, I was not sure. No, suicide was not even considered. Not at all. Then while sitting at my computer desk I checked the time. I never do that and the clock showed a very few seconds into the morning of 22 June, 2017. The six month anniversary of Sweetie Pie's death had ended just a few short seconds before.

I then shut off my computer and the NAT server and went straightaway to bed. I woke up some 14 - 16 hours later feeling refreshed and with a good spark of energy. Wow. I actually felt good.

Breaking the spell

That awful spell was broken. No longer was I dreading:

The fact of the matter was truthfully I was back to being, well, me. At least for the most part. Yes, every so often I do stumble and fall. But those are becoming few and far between. Far more importantly they are becoming fewer and farther between. I like that. I really do.

I shall tell you a naked fact — Nothing and I do mean Nothing can possibly be worse than being the surviving spouse of a wonderful marriage which was atmospherically full of:

24 hours a day, 7 days a week. There simply is nothing worse. Period.

Okay, great, I survived and now I am, once again, — living — instead of merely existing. There is a tremendous difference between the two, let me assure you of that. So, the all important question is, obviously, H-O-W did I do it? The answer is, and this should come as no surprise, I did not do it. Two other people did it for me or they did it on my behalf. Either way it was not me. Not at all.

Well that is just fine. Just fine. So what, pray tell, did these two marvelous people do for me or on my behalf? They prayed. They prayed too God to deliver me from the depths of my grieving (I am guessing that as I will not ask them specifically what they each prayed for).

It happened the last week of May. I had attended a Hospice sponsored bereavement support group for the first time (I had also completely run out of options). Two people I did not know both stated they would pray for me because:

"Your grief is very deep."

They were not joking either. And that is what happened. I have thanked both profusely and shall probably continue to do so. They are both just plain wonderful people. They truly are. Our world needs a whole lot more of them. They are also very special. They are very special for these two reasons:

Those two ingredients make all the difference. Without those two things, I fully believe, they could have prayed until they were each blue in the face and God would have probably just yawned. But, with those two key items, God not just heard their individual prayers, God acted on those prayers and, as such, delivered me from the horrid depths of grieving over the passing of Sweetie Pie.

Epilogue

So, what has this long drawn episode taught me? A lot. I have learned that God:

But wait, there's more. I learned those who are praying must:

I have also absorbed the not so mere fact that those who the prayer is intended for must:

Most of all — all of us need to pay attention to what is going on around us.

Without doubt it is a huge lesson and one we all can learn from and — implement.

So remember:

Never leave home without them and you'll do alright.

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