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Friday, 04 December, 2020

Love is. . .

Date: 15 March, 2015

By: Chief

Imagen aberration of the highest sort or kind. There is no feeling like it in the world. There is possibly nothing quite like it in the entire universe. Those who are — truly — in love know exactly what I am talking about. The only problem is love's price of admission and its price tag is terrible, truly terrible. And you cannot get away from it. Those who have been — truly — in love also know exactly what I am talking about.

So what am I talking about

You can ask any psychologist or psychiatrist who are worth their union cards, I don't even know if they have a union, but I digress, and either or both will tell you with glee in their voice that the heart does not produce any emotions — only the brain does that. In the case of love they are wrong.

Love is a slippery thing most people mis-identify. Some find infatuation. Others simple lust. Some, for reasons unknown, believe that security could be their Nirvana. But alas, none of those are actually love. The sad part is that most people, regrettably, never in their life find that bliss, for lack of a better word, which is love. True, unadulterated love.

Once you are struck by love — Cupid's arrow perhaps? — Your life is never the same. You and the other person are changed — forever. And both of you know it instantly.

It is a physical change

A physical change does take place. I call it the "initial instant of recognition" when the two parties first make contact. I believe it is done strictly with the eyes, no words are exchanged — when both people make eye contact for the very first time. It lasts but an instant. The results last a lifetime. It seems to be all visual but it goes much deeper than that. It is that "deeper" part I cannot explain. You will just have to experience it for yourself. At least now you will be somewhat prepared for it.

Now that I have you on tenter-hooks — on edge of your seat and the suspense is driving you crazy, just what the Sam Thump happens? Well, let me give you my theory, which is my story as well.

Every human including demented ones have a soul or spirit or energy. Call it what you will. Spiritual DNA perhaps? Why not (it sounds good to me). Each soul is unique to the person within which it resides. It is that soul, spirit or energy which makes each of us unique human beings and — most importantly — who and what we shall become. Yes, each of our individual destinies are located within our most precious bodily essence — our soul. Our spiritual DNA.

Like us, our souls come complete from the factory. However, there is a part of each persons soul which can detach itself from the rest of that person's soul, be somehow transported or transfered and attached to another person's soul. All of this happens faster than the blink of an eye.

Hence, when that "initial instant of recognition" happens and it absolutely must be mutual (and how that decision is made I have utterly no idea) then a part of each person's soul is split off from the owner and then transfered to the other person. Voila, each person's soul is complete yet each person is forever tied to the other. Kinda like two individual chain links which have become joined.

The togetherness

This part of entering into a long term relationship is what most men, including myself, are utterly awful at. We fumble and stumble each and every time. And it is our chosen partner who gracefully and graciously picks us up when we fall. And we fall a lot. Then we laugh about it. For there was no embarrassment, remember our souls are now intertwined, hence, we are laughing at ourselves and it is wonderful. It is wonderful not having to walk on egg shells, that is also a very important key. You can and do say anything and it is responded too with intellect, not callousness.

Yes, you each have your own interests and so on but you find yourself spending more and more time with your husband, wife, partner — again, call it what you will. It is a natural progression because you are no longer completely you. Your partner is no longer your partner. You both now have formed a unit. The whole is truly greater than the sum of its parts. All due to the transfer of a bit of each other's soul (our spiritual DNA). What you do together is far more important and far more fun than doing something on your own.

In time and not too much time at that you will each discover that your individual strengths and weaknesses are complimented by your partner. In other words, your weaknesses are her strengths and vice versa.

One other thing that is critically important — you have no arguments or fights with each other. Why on Earth would you want to start a fight with yourself? It makes no sense. Arguments are always destructive and why would you want to self destruct? Besides, as a unit there is basically nothing to argue about.

The old saying "opposites attract" is just as true here, in this story, as it ever has been. However it is merely what it has always been — physical attraction. No more, no less.

The price

As I stated at the beginning of this piece:

"The only problem is love's price of admission and its price tag is terrible, truly terrible."

Simply put the price tag is — death. One day you or your partner will feel something awful, like a piece of you has just been ripped out. And, believe it or not a piece has been ripped out of you. Further it is painful in a way that cannot really be described. Once again, in that instant you will know what has happened and you shall let out a scream you did not know you had in you. Your partner has just died. Forever free to roam this great expanse we call the universe. That piece of your — now passed on partner's soul — has been forcibly removed from you. Regrettably, but as it must be.

You are the one who is stuck. Stuck alone in a world which doesn't give one good God Damn about you or the unending pain you must live with and the vacancy in your heart. You go on muddling through one day after the next because your partner would have wanted you to. You do what needs to be done because it must be done and your partner would have wanted that also.

Your life is still driven by your deceased partner. And it always will be. Though your soul is completely yours again it is now strictly human emotion that keeps you on the path you are on.

You are not interested in attempting to start another relationship. Even your interest in sex has for the most part abated. You will never be the same again. You will be in a mourning that goes on for months, possibly years. Is that good or healthy? I have no idea. I just know that is how it normally works out.

Some say all wounds fade with time. I am not so sure I agree with that.


Let me tell y'all something — even with the terrible price which must be paid at the end — true love is something to be experienced and relished. It happens to far too few people and for those lucky enough to experience it — it is an experience like none other.

Love — the experience of a lifetime.

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