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Tuesday, 24 November, 2020

An April Fool

Date: 01 April, 2014

By: Chief

Imageell — um — a March fool actually.

If you have not:

the YouTube video "Instant Karma," uploaded by the unwilling and apparently quite innocent bystander of this saga one "Florida Driver," then I truly suspect you are living under an unimproved rock. Others have uploaded it as well.

Far beyond 'dumber than a box of rocks'

The star in this film short is none other than Jefferey Travis White. White, who is 33 years of age (how he made it past 3 must be a story unto itself) and a resident of Tampa, Flori-duh, which should tell you everything you need too know. I have no idea how many films Jefferey has starred in thus far, however I was unable to find him on the Internet Movie Data Base (IMDB). But I can tell you that, in my opinion anyway, this is by far his largest role. Additionally, after watching the film twice, I can also state that Jefferey was a natural for the part. Which just goes to show without any doubt that even an absolute idiot can become a film star. And Jefferey has done just that. And done so swimmingly.

Oh, Jeff, just a quick suggestion — if Hollywood does come a callin' your name and you do decide to give Hollywood a go — fly ... don't drive.

What an idiot

To quote Hermione Granger.

If you do enjoy "The Three Stooges" type of movies (sorry about that Moe, Larry, Curly and Shemp) and decide to watch Jefferey in action there is one minor technical difficulty which I think should be mentioned. If you look at the individual images on the WFLA story you should see a pair of white lines running perpendicular to the road and in between those lines is the word "SCHOOL" and possibly another word. You should also have noticed that our intrepid star Jefferey Travis White had already lost control of his Ford F-250 pickup and was on the wrong side of the road and all of this transpired while he was in the "SCHOOL" some darn thing or other.

Now I do appreciate Jefferey doing his own stunts but not:

Perhaps Jefferey needs to walk instead of drive for the next few years — after he gets out of jail. Oh, here is that school something image for your viewing pleasure.

End of the road

To me, it is absolutely beyond the pale that a person — well Jefferey may potentially be part of the species known as Homo sapien it is theoretically possible after all — and an adult no less would or could do something so mind numbingly dumb. Jefferey has surpassed teenagers in his wanton act of idiocy. And truthfully, I didn't think anything was dumber than a teenager. I was wrong. Sorry kiddies (no, actually, I'm not at all sorry). Not only that but he is basically close to being double the age of a teenager. One would have hoped that he would have or possibly even could have learned something during his 33 years of consuming oxygen. Though, regrettably, by just viewing the video, it would appear that Jefferey has done nothing more than waste oxygen. And oxygen is a terrible thing to waste.

So what do we do? Actually what can we do? I submit that other than keeping everything crossed but our eyes in the hope that Jefferey has not yet successfully bred, there is absolutely nothing we can do (well, there is castration).

Indeed, maybe that is for the best (not the castration — well maybe). We really don't need 'anti-Jefferey' laws on the books. Without doubt, I am sure that some worthless politician somewhere might just try to place an 'anti-Jefferey' law on bloody, over filled law books in the hopes of gathering a very few votes.

In the end

You know things, even nasty things, have a way of working themselves out. And I believe that the same thing will happen in this particular case. Jefferey will go to court and something will happen there. Jefferey may not like it. The same could be said about Jefferey's truck. That is going to be a fairly expensive repair — assuming it can be repaired. And Jefferey's insurance company is going to have something to say about the repair or replacement bill. Jefferey may not like that.

As for an 'anti-Jefferey' solution for the future — believe it or not it are already exists: birth control.

So keep in mind the old saying:

'A rubber a day keeps Jefferey away'.

And that is not an April Fool's joke.

[Ed. note: This story has been updated. The WFLA story is now a dead link, hence I deleted it.]

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