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Tuesday, 01 December, 2020

What a Dirt Bag

Date: 15 September, 2011

By: Chief

Imageost parents teach their little kids, aka brats, to look up to policemen. After all cops are, or at least are supposed to be, the pillars of the community. So the theory goes.

Well during the last half of August a rather large hole was placed in that now dingy suit of armor. A cop, indeed a New Mexico State Police officer, was caught "en flagrante poon tang." Quoting Kob news:

"KOB Eyewitness News 4 has obtained surveillance pictures of a State Police officer having sex with a woman on the hood of a car in broad daylight.

"State Police aren't saying anything about the photos, but KOB Eyewitness News 4 is pressing for answers.

"Two weeks ago KOB reported a story about an officer caught on camera having sex while in full uniform, an act shown on security camera at the Santa Fe Canyon Ranch."

So parents, you along with everyone else may very well wish to rethink a cop being a knight in white armor. Because it just doesn't wash. Not anymore.

Conduct unbecoming an officer

Except this clown is no military officer. He is merely a police officer. A state trooper no less. Now before I go any further let me make it absolutely clear that I have no problem whatsoever with people having sex. I'ts great. The more the merrier makes it even better. However, an employee of the government — actually an employee of We the People, you would think, should know better than to engage in sex with little Sally Rotten Crotch while on duty. At least that is certainly how it appears to me. Suffice to say Trooper Joe Hard-on was most likely sleeping (with some harlot) through that class.

But that is not all. Old Joe Hard-on has been missing numerous criminal court appearances in which he was the arresting officer. Including a rape case. Quoting Kob news:

"Lawyers in Santa Fe said over the last few weeks, the officer has not shown up to numerous cases in which he had been the arresting officer and those cases are being dismissed.

"This officer is the same arresting officer in the high profile Daniel Martinez escape and rape case."

And finally the papers identified this clown — Bert Lopez, aka Trooper Joe Hard-on. What a slime ball.

Believe it or not the State Police put Lopez on "paid administrative leave" while an investigation was conducted. Administrative leave is one thing but paid administrative leave is quite another. In other words I am dead set against paying the scurvy cur while he sits on his butt at home. If, on the other hand, the investigation finds him (which they didn't) clean, then he should have received back pay for the time he was on administrative leave. Nice little ringer isn't it? Bounders.

A code of conduct

Yes, it turns out our much vaunted state police does indeed have one. Not that Joe Hard-on paid any attention to it (he slept through it, remember?). Quoting the Santa Fe New Mexican:

"A state police code of conduct, among other things, calls on officers to 'strive to maintain the highest level of ethical behavior' and 'display our pride by demonstrating dignity and self-respect through personal attitudes, actions and appearance', according to department's 'Core Values' [. . .]."

At least one person in law enforcement maintained some humor about the whole sordid affair. Santa Fe County Sheriff Robert Garcia. Again quoting the Santa Fe New Mexican:

" 'I was asked to identify what agency the officer belonged to, and I was happy to say it wasn't one of my guys', Sheriff Garcia said. 'Then, as a courtesy to state police, we took to the chief's office the images we had'."

"As a courtesy?" You know Garcia must have been laughing his butt off and simultaneously thanking God above the idiotic cop was not his when he had the images delivered to state Police Chief Robert Shilling. I'm also fairly certain that Shilling, once he viewed the images, was not a happy camper. As he should not have been.


It was not too very long after Joe Hard-on's covered behind hit every major newspaper in the country that Chief Shilling realized something had to be done. Why there were good church going people who were not at all pleased with Joe's on the job ... search and seizure methods shall we say. And all those good church going women did not want hubby thinking about that little tart being intimately searched by Joe's Hard-on.

Hence the ax did fall on Joe (but not his hard-on). Quoting the Santa Fe New Mexican:

"The New Mexico State Police officer who was photographed having sex on the hood of a Honda is no longer a cop.

"Bert Lopez was informed late this week that the Department of Public Safety has fired him, The New Mexican has learned.

[. . .]

"But when asked Friday evening if [Lopez] was still employed with the New Mexico State Police, Johnson said, 'No'."

And so ends Joe Hard-on's career as a state trooper, though he does have 30 days to appeal the decision. What's he gonna appeal anyway? He was caught pants up, zipper down, tallywacker buried in some tart's moisture laden heavenly hole. Is he going to claim "I was framed?" I must admit it would be fun to hear how he tries to talk his way out of being fired for committing en flagrante poon tang with some floozy on We the People's time.

The morale of this story is — don't go drilling for oil while on the clock and especially where surveillance cameras are in use.

Unless you are into exhibitionism.

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