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Creationism or Evolution (final part of three)

Date: 01 September, 2009

By: Chief

To read part one.

To read part two.

Imagee, as humans, scrap, bicker and fight all the time over just about anything. Believe it or not, people have been killed because they rooted for the wrong soccer or football team. That ought to really impress our galactic neighbors. We can't even agree on an abbreviation for universal coordinated time. No joke. Just ask two lawyers the exact same question — you will get at least three entirely different answers.

I suspect we have done this throughout our entire history, both here and wherever we originally came from. As I wrote earlier, we are a sorry lot.

In fact about the only thing we seem to be really good at is what might be considered to be tribal warfare on a global scale by any real civilized planet. On this particular point the great author Jules Verne wrote (From the Earth to the Moon):

"Yes, my dear fellow! Imagine our meeting some of the inhabitants up there! Would you like to give them such a melancholy notion of what goes on down here? To teach them what war is, to inform them that we employ our time chiefly in devouring each other, in smashing arms and legs."

I wish I was so eloquent.

Hence because we could not or would not get along with each other, let alone anyone else, we somehow made life for an advanced civilization a living hell (just ask Josephine cave girl about her thoughts on Joe cave man or vice versa). And finally they had enough.

Somebody or some group in turn made a decision to get rid of the "problem children:"

"Hmm, that third rock from that distant sun, what's it called again ... oh, that's right ... Earth.

"It's a long way from here, they'll have everything they need to survive, yeah I know it's mean, but they just won't learn ... round 'em up and ship 'em.

"Better keep an eye on 'em, they are somewhat clever.

"Well actually they tend to be rather clumsy but kinda clever."

Think about the Australians. Most non-immigrant Aussies are a direct descendant of — criminals. Australia basically started out as a British penal colony. So was the Continent of North America. Our very own thirteen colonies in general. And Georgia specifically.

We call ourselves civilized and have for centuries. What a joke. I will grant you one thing — we are obstinate but not at all civilized.

I fully believe that some very advanced civilization not only did, but continue to, keep an eye on us. They bloody well ought to as well. If for no other reason than for their own peace of mind and possibly their own security. Face it, with our history — we cannot be trusted. We don't trust members of our own species. Most of us don't even trust our next door neighbor. And for good reason. We steal, vandalize, rape, ravage and pillage the village. Some consider it a sport. As a species we are not at all honorable. But we are opportunistic. Just like any other predator.

How else can anybody, rationally or reasonably, explain Roswell, New Mexico? Yeah the 1947 spaceship crash north of Roswell. Oh yes, it happened. Why it happened I truly believe is merely because we successfully and violently crashed the galactic nuclear club. In 1945 we detonated an atomic bomb at White Sands, New Mexico.

I would not have wanted to be the individual who had to tell some planetary leader or council of whatever planet is keeping an eye on us that good news. It may have gone something like this:

"We have a situation, someone needs to inform the leader.

"What kind of situation?

"Those fucking humans have just detonated a very crude atomic device.

"Ah shit (After a fairly long pause).

(A bit later) "I awoke and spoke to the leader and she is not a happy camper.

"Before she briefs the planetary council she wants independent verification of your report."

Two years later — crunch.

Could be fiction or it could be fact. Who is to say? One thing that is a certifiable 'for sure' — time and distance. Two years maybe a long time for us but it is nothing for a civilization who have mastered interstellar travel.

And that folks, in a nut shell, is my theory. To any naysayer (there might even be one) I say to you — prove me wrong.

I have told my theory to a few people in the area (cause that's all there are) and in each case I've been hit with the same questions. The first question normally is:

"How come aliens won't talk to us?"

Answer: There is no central leadership for the planet. Our President is not in charge of the planet even though he thinks he is. Additionally, the Secretary General of the United Nations is not in charge of the planet either. He isn't even in charge of a single podunk country. Lastly there is no planetary common language.

The second question is a derivative of the first:

"How would we talk to them?"

Answer: Being they have mastered interstellar travel I am not worried about being able to speak with them. I'm sure they have that all figured out.

The third question is (believe it or not):

"What if they want to take over the world (Earth)?"

Answer: [Audible sigh] If some civilization travels to Earth from another planet with the intent of taking over the planet — they can do it and there is not one blasted thing we can do to stop them. Further, what do we and this planet have to offer such an advanced civilization? With the possible exception of entertainment, sort of a planetary version of the Roman coliseum, an Earthlings versus lions kind of thing, we are and have nothing of value.

And the last question is:

"Well, if they are so advanced how come they crashed in '47?"

Answer: [Thinking to myself: 'You must be joking'.] We, for reasons unknown, consider ourselves to be an advanced civilization but how many car wrecks happen daily? How many collisions at sea are there yearly, how many train derailments and collisions are there each year and how many airplanes fall out of the sky or crash some other way annually? It could have been weather (we get hellacious electrical storms that time of year), mechanical failure, pilot error or a combination.

I said they were very, very advanced — not perfect.

And so ends a rather lengthy, hopefully though not boring, story. I cannot prove my theory but:

cannot, in anyway, disprove it either. Furthermore I am certain I am not the only person who has this belief.

A final word about the theory of natural selection. I can factually prove the theory is either a complete fallacy or, at a minimum, does not apply to the human species.

Down the road from us several miles lives a family. All five generations of 'em. The oldest is about 80 and the youngest is around 6. Each succeeding generation is dumber than the previous (which ain't saying much either). I am not kidding. Claire, who is about 66, considers the sixth grade to be her senior year. She actually told us that. Kyle, who is the oldest (around 80), had to repeat the fifth grade — twice. He finally just quit. Allen, who is eleven, is so completely scatter brained — he makes a kid with ADD seem as though they are in perpetual reverse. Clyde, who is Allen's father is a certified, verified bi-polar. And the middle generation, a girl — is in prison for the next twenty years or so (drugs, fraud and hooking). So much for natural selection or evolution of the human species. It certainly appears closer to de-evolution to me.

Oh, by the way, Scopes was found guilty.

"They civilize what's pretty by puttin' up a city where nothin' that's pretty can grow [...], when I see a parson I gotta put my arse in a wagon that follows the tail of a crow" (Lee Marvin, Paint Your Wagon, 1969).

[Ed. note: This story has been updated.]

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